Journey to weight loss

This is my first post regarding healthy life, I am so excited to talk about this nowadays. As a background I would like to share how can I came to this point. When I was a kid I have always been fat, my mum said that I was a happy kid and really loves to eat. In kindergarten and primary school, I have been always one of the biggest kids in terms of weight and height. Growing as a fat kid was hard, boys are always picking up to me. Tired of being mocked, I decided on acting like boys, I was into outdoor sports alot like bycycling and baseball. I figured if Im like boys, they would consider me as their pal and stop picking out on me. Fast forward to 7 years later, I was going to University and see more skinny and beautiful girls alot, then I wanna be like them, so I came to an acupunturist and started my weight loss program. Man, that was a lot of work! I had to come to the acupunturist every once a week for 2 months (expensive treatment may I add)  and I had to cut major calories intake from my diet. It was a crash diet and I think its about 1000 calories  diet plus 2 hours of cardio exercise 5 days a week, . No wonder i shed pounds fast. I lost 30 pounds in 2 months, but i was feeling miserable and moody coz I didnt enjoy dieting at all. I kept the weight off for 3.5 years. But then I started working full time in the office and it was hard to maintain the lifestyle I had before, no more exercising regularly and no more portion controlled. so weight has begun to creep out again. That year I broke up with my former boyfriend \and start a new relationship. being in a new relationship, I began to obssesed about my weight again, I tried an insane diet pills that made me go to the toilet everytime I ate, so i stopped eating my usual portion and relied on coffee, tiny portion of food and skipped dinner alltogether. I lost 10 pounds and im at my lowest weight of 112 pounds. But it was an unhealthy diet, I knew something was wrong with my body since i was so weak, unenergize and sleepy. I stayed in that weight for a year and i was begin to gain again but stayed 10 pounds heavier for another 3 years. after that I moved job again, then the cycle begins, I tend to overeats and lack of exercising so i keep gaining weights. It was 5 years ago and boy, have I gained pounds and pounds on me throughout the years. Every now and then I kept making resolution and it never last, it would last for a month or two and I was quitting. WTH man! I didnt enjoy life everytime I "diet". I was exercising for the last 1.5 years in the gym but I had no goals. the only thing that keep me going to the gym is because i was afraid of heart attack risk and cholesterol, until one day when I was exercising alone in my gym, a personal trainer came to me and asked me if i want to check my weight and asses my fitness level. I did it with hesitation and wham!! it hit me. I am Obessed, not overweight buy yeah, obessed. My bodyfat was way above normal. and my metabolism was low and I was comparable to a 55 years old woman. I was so embarrased and mad. How can I let myself go like this.?? I always said that i am a healty fat girl, but looking from my statistic I was far from healthy. my BMI is high, my visceral fat is borderline and my bone doesnt have enough density. I was crushed. the trainer said mu muscle mass is good which means im quite athletic. my bones structure are bigger than a normal woman (reasons i always use when people called me fat) but the hard fact is still there, im obessee and im unhealthy. from that moment i realised that i have to do something. then here I am, I have goal and motivations I need, I wanna be healthy! i dont do it for my looks and praises from anyone else but I do it for ME, for my health and my life. i realised that i kept buying expensive clothes and bags because I was insecure of myself. I was not comfortable in my own skin so I have to cover with all vain stuffs. from that moment on, I change my mindset, everytime I eat I always think about what it can do to my body, will it energize me? sure, switching mindset means I have to change my lifestyle. I had to cut all the insane breakfast portion ive had before (its rice dish or noodle dish), I had to change my lunch to a more nutritious food such as brown rice and veggies,Ii cut my sweets snack and coffee to a healthy raw almonds or fruits. Its been 4 weeks now and I had my up and down moments. my down moments was holiday time, since its June I travelled alot and while travelling its hard finding my everyday food, so I kinda lost it during that moments and ate regular food, but thats okay because each time I came home Ive always had my newfound goal and motivation, which is to be healthy and balanced.so, its gunna be a long journey but this time im gunna stick with it. wish me luck!

Now :

Then